"Waat eet ees?"

Mira Tiwari

First day of school.

Mira sporting new shades on her 13th birthday

Tarini displaying great acting talent

What was once a chocolate truffle cake at the Taj Sea Lounge.

I take back all the times I have made fun of my teachers in Chicago or mimicked about their british accents (Ro-Haioo! Only my friends in Chicago will get that joke!). 

From the first day at my new school, I found my teachers quite ‘interesting’. Here’s just a taste of truly Indian teachers.

My geography teacher said: “Dee farst factor dat apphects dee climayte (as in, mate, like pal) is dee altitood. Wot it ees?” (we say altitude); “wot it ees?” (altitude); “wot it ees?” (altitude) “Wot it ees?” (by this point we are hysterical, cracking up and wondering when he'll shut up) he says the same thing for: 
‘“Lattitood. wot it ees?” (latitude!!!) he says this about 8 times, by which point we are SO bored, that some kid decides that when he asks: 'wot it ees?'  (in a HUGELY indian accent) and the whole class messily grumbles 'latitude' some kid says: 'altitude!!' “wot it ees?” (we all say latitude) and someone shouts: "pyjamas!"’

My chemistry teacher shouts everything she says: she screams as if we are 10 miles away! She stares at us with eyes that literally pop out 1 cm away from her face, glaring at us with a look that I can’t help but think is somewhat evil. "I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHTRICT TO YOU ALL, I WANT TO BE FRIENDLY TO YOU. BUTTT, IF YOU DO NOT DOO YOR HOMEVURK, YOU WILL BE GETTING A RED MARK ON MY REGISTERRR. NOW, DEEZ ARE THE PROPERRTEEZ OF A LIQUID. PROBABLY...” (pronounced: Pro-- like the short for professional, Bab-- like 'bad' but with a B on the end, and Ly-- Leeee).

My gym teacher is so weird and yet he thinks he is so cool and in charge of everyone. He was giving us some talk on the sports calendar of the year, and it took me ages to figure out that when he keeps saying "eevnts" he means events. :-P

Another teacher says: "I will not tolerate the chewing of the gum. If I catch anyone chewing the gum, you will be in trouble. The gum is prohibited in my class. Is anyone chewing the gum?"

The next week, as soon as my Geography teacher entered the room, the class was abuzz with “wot it ees?” “wot it ees?” “wot it ees?” and laughing until our sides hurt. The teacher had no idea what we were doing (at least, that’s what we thought! Let’s hope I am correct...)

Some of my teachers enter the classroom in a massive Sari, huge earrings and looks on their face that say: ‘I am probably a grandma, so don’t you mess with me.’

Quite a change from my 27 year old teachers in skirts, heavy make-up and accents that no longer seem strange compared to my new set of “Gurus”.

However, Indian teachers do have a certain welcoming aura around them. My Hindi teacher has a look that makes me feel like he could be my grandfather: Fun, bursting out into a song, giving you endless amounts of sweets and laughing along with each and every joke. 

My Environmental Management (EVM) teacher could be a long lost aunt, who is always willing to play games, as long as they’re educational and a game of charades makes the EVM class very entertaining. My French teacher could be a replica of my mum. The way she patiently explains each problem, while intertwining conversations about general day-in-day-out stuff is wonderful.

I guess school is kind of like a second family. I mean, you make fun of your family, right? But you’re always grateful to have them there, because a day without family, and a day without humour, is barely a day at all. Even if the day is spent at school...